Blue Violet by Renaa Bhai V. Visvanathan

            The young woman wore a blue dress that matched her blue shoes. She held the hand of a little girl, who had just turned four. They walked towards the bus interchange, their steps in sync. When they reached the chaotic mob at the interchange, the woman let go of the girl’s hand. She bent down and whispered into the girl’s ear, “Stay still”. Then the woman pushed past the crowd, never stopping to look back. She walked away from the bus interchange that day. The young woman who wore a blue dress that matched her blue soul.

***

            Twenty years later, the image of the woman in blue still haunts Violet’s thoughts and at times, her dreams. But the woman appears faceless in these dreams. Whenever she sees these flashes of blue, she knows it’s time to pay a visit to Doctor Lowe. Violet has known Doctor Lowe almost her whole life. One could say they share the relationship similar to that of a grandfather and a granddaughter.  Though the doctor’s holy white capsules seemed to be getting weaker throughout the years, they have usually been able to keep the demons at bay. In addition to that, Violet had found love. Love could cure everything, couldn’t it?



            The one who caught her when she fell was named Adam. Adam and Violet fell together like two jigsaw pieces that fit effortlessly. It was almost as if Violet was walking to a tune only she could hear, and then one day Adam fell in step next to her. Fast would be the adjective used to describe their story. They fell in love fast. They made love soon after. Before they knew it, wedding vows were being recited. “Always & Forever”, they promised each other. 

            Always & Forever.


            How have those words lost their significance thought Violet as she reached for her wedding ring that was under her vanity. She picked it up and noticed the scratch in the Sapphire stone. She regretted throwing it as hard as she did when she had an argument with Adam, the previous night.  Adam had been spending too much time with his new assistant. Like he did with the last one, and the one before. Adam always said his relationships with his assistants were professional but Violet knew better. Violet’s confrontations often lead to intense quarrels that would leave them both exhausted and miserable. After each of these episodes, Violet requests for a divorce but Adam convinces her of her paranoia and begs her to stay. Violet always stays but only after making sure that Adam fires his assistant and hires a new one.



            This time she needed to think of another way to make him pay. She headed down to her favourite café, Azure, to think things through. She sat down with a mug of coffee, her head buzzing with thoughts that were multiplying by the second.



            “You’ve stirred enough for today, don’t you think?” a voice cut through Violet’s thoughts.



            Violet looked down at her mug and realized that she had spilled some of her coffee on the table. She had stirred her coffee more vigorously than she intended to. She looked up at the source of the voice and saw a middle-aged woman. The woman offered Violet a packet of tissue, smiled and said, “Hi, I’m Sky, but there’s nothing blue about me”. What a strange thing to say, thought Violet.



            Sky had an athlete’s lean physique and a pixie haircut.  She was around the same height as Violet. She donned a navy velvet blazer with fitted white trousers. There was an understated elegance in the way she was dressed and carried herself. Sky somehow felt familiar to Violet.



            That was the start to Violet and Sky’s friendship. The more time Violet spent with Sky, the less she thought about Adam’s after-work activities. They had many things in common, like the genre of novels, films and music they preferred, and the way they liked their tea. Violet even thought that they looked alike. Sky was understanding and nurturing when Violet needed someone to talk to. Sky’s hugs were like warm quilts that made Violet feel safe. There was something magnetic about Sky. The heat that was lost in Violet’s marriage was right there in the palms of a woman named Sky. When they were in close proximity, Violet felt as if there was electricity in the air. Soon after, so did Sky.



            The faceless woman in blue made frequent appearances in Violet’s dreams even though she remembered taking her medication. In one of these dreams when the faceless woman turned towards Violet, she was wearing Sky’s face. This dream haunted Violet even during the day. As things got more intimate with Sky, the occurrence of this dream was frequent. After a while, Violet got used to it.



            It was a paradisiacal Sunday afternoon. Violet and Sky were lying on their beach mat, enjoying the constant sound of waves licking the shore. Violet felt a sudden sting in her right eye and started rubbing it. Sky bent over Violet, gently pulled Violet’s hand away from her eye and whispered, “Stay still”. Then, she blew into Violet’s eye. Violet felt paralyzed for a minute. Sky’s words took her twenty years back in time and she felt like the little girl abandoned at the bus interchange again. Sky’s nudge brought Violet back to reality. She looked into Sky’s eyes as if searching for an answer. Could it be…That was the moment it all clicked in Violet’s head.



She is my mother. Sky is my mother.

            Sky had all the qualities of a perfect mother. Sky was around the same age as Violet’s mother probably was. Sky always wore blue. Her name was “Sky” for heaven’s sake!

Blue! Blue! Blue!


             Violet could not breathe all of a sudden. How could she not have drawn these parallels sooner! How else can the intense connection they shared be explained!



            Violet left the beach that day, a little light headed. She was leaning against Sky as they walked towards their car. Violet looked up at Sky, her mother, and squeezed her hand.



You finally came back, Mom.

            The days that followed were an emotional blur for Violet. At the end of the third day, however, Violet made a decision. She was not going to let anything ruin her second chance at happiness. So she came up with a plan to keep her mother with her forever. This time Mother would not abandon her.

***



            Sky found Violet at her door at half past midnight on Wednesday. Violet appeared to be in the midst of an emotional breakdown and kept referring to Sky as, “Mommy” which confused Sky a little. However, she let Violet collapse in her arms and consoled her with kisses to her forehead. As Sky was about to pull away she felt an unbearable pain in her back. She looked down and was met with a surreal sight of a knife protruding from her torso. Blood was running down her body. She looked at Violet perplexed as nausea hit her and she slumped to the floor. She tried to pull the knife out but she was too weak. Violet wrenched the knife out and stabbed Sky several times while softly whispering, “Stay still” over and over again.

***

            After Sky was gone, Violet used the knife to stab herself four times. Her vision blurred as she slowly laid onto a puddle of Sky’s blood. She smeared the warm, slippery crimson liquid all over herself with the strength that she could muster. She closed her eyes. This was how it must have felt to be in her mother’s womb she thought. It all started in the warmth of the womb and that is how it should end.

            “I’m still, Mother, I’m still”, were the last words uttered by Violet.

***

            There were two female bodies found at a grisly crime scene early Wednesday morning. The woman who was identified as Violet Lee, 25, by her spouse Adam Lee was said to have been suffering from Schizophrenia, a chronic psychological disorder.  The purse that belonged to Mrs Lee, which was found at the crime scene, had a bottle of medication for her condition.

            The seal, however, was not broken.